Saturday, 29 December 2012

Control (of sorts)

Merry Christmas! I hope every one of you is having a lovely festive time. It's been a mixed one for us - Christmas day was lovely but aside from that we have spent the past week dipping in and out of ill health. Unfortunately the dreaded norovirus claimed us as its victims, and Heather now has tonsilitis. Nasty.

Since my last post I had my Christmas night out with work. My dream all year had been to wear a size 16 dress and wear one I did. I must confess I felt a million dollars on the night, but no way was I on plan or counting syns. The previous Wednesday had been my final weigh in before Christmas though (3lb off taking my 2012 loss to 6st 4lb) and control was nigh on impossible. Cake in the office? Sure. Buckets of wine? Why not. Yes, it's Christmas but unless I want to weigh in on the 9th with a massive gain (which I don't) then something has to give, so (Christmas day aside) I been mostly behaving in the day and going a bit off plan at night or vice versa. Stomach bug aside, naturally... I ate nothing then!

Basically after New year I have a week to sort myself out before I weigh in, get my new books and throw myself into 2013's challenge - REACHING TARGET. Hopefully on the 9th I can at least maintain my pre-Christmas weight, although to maybe even lose a little would be nice. I know that it will be hard to get back into it. I know the first few days properly back on it I will feel like I'm dying but I also know it's going to be ok, and I can do this. My one year anniversary is the end of January and it would be nice to be close to my 100lb by then but the thing is, since not losing it in 2012 it's less of a marker. My next challenge is to go for an interim target of another 2st 11lb (total loss 9st 1lb) and take it from there. Very probably another stone from there will be the right place, but I won't know until I'm nearly there. 2012 has been great for me, but 2013 is definitely going to be my year.

Now I'm off to have a Happy New Year and I hope you do too!

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Mistletoe and wine

I am really struggling. Christmas is just around the corner and today was my last week at work before the big man comes to visit. I've tried my very best this week,despite having Friday night drinks with a couple of lovely friends and a group lunch with a bunch of mummies at Pizza Express on Saturday.

Oh, the wine!

Oh, the pizza!

Oh, the mince pies.

Mentally I am in a really mixed place. I want to stick to plan, I really do. With so much yummy going on though, this challenge is the greatest yet. December was always going to be tough and whilst I'm certainly not going to ruin my Christmas by being mean with myself, I also don't want to for too far off plan. I still have so far to go and I am going to have one hell of a battle to get back on track in January but Christmas really does come just once a year and I want to enjoy it. My other issue is my physical being - I'm starting to feel really good now when I'm dressed up but in my darkest moments I am still massively disheartened by what I see.

Really I would like to stay on plan as much as possible until Monday but I have nights out on Friday and Saturday and honestly, I know I won't be on plan then. Tomorrow is my last weigh in before Christmas and I won't weigh again until Jan 9th. Sounds like a long time but I have a full week after New Year to get back on plan. Basically I'm going to try and be as good as I can.

After all,  it's a whole year until next Christmas.

Thursday, 13 December 2012

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat

But I'm not.

It's true I am now some way from achieving my 100lb loss in 2012, but I have lost 85lb (6st 1lb) and I know that's a great achievement. That's 4 dress sizes and a total of 52.25" of fat gone forever. I'm not done by far, but I look at these numbers with a small swell of pride. Lots of people have asked me how I stay motivated and I have various methods,  none of them is anything complicated but the are all helpful in their own ways.

I try to be kind to myself and I try not to give myself too much of a hard time (not always easy). I look at my book frequently, covered in stickers, and it shows me how far I've come. Every sticker and ring of the bell in class spurs me on. As does my own success.... and failure. If I don't lose,  I try harder the next week so I know I WILL lose the next week. When I lose then I float home to plot the loss on the Slimmimg World website, happy as a pig in mud. I really think motivation and success feed off one another. When I do well I feel motivated, and when I'm motivated I do well. If I can do this, anyone can because one thing that's held all of this together for the past 10.5 months  is belief in myself.

My main thing though is to keep my food interesting and use my syns. At the end of the day this is a lifestyle change for me and I need to know I can stick to this for the long haul and that won't happen if I pretend I'm never going to drink wine/eat pizza/dine out ever again. I don't want to be a big fat fatty again and I've got rid of all my clothes to make sure it can't happen. That said, December is proving to be a challenge already. Heather turned 4 last week (cake, pizza hut), plus there's boxes of chocolates a-go-go and wrapping presents never feels the same without a glass of wine (or this year a glass of alcoholic chocolate milk). It feels although the season to be merry is well and truly here, so I need to be careful that it's not all merry and no careful. I would feel different if I was target but with another 3-4 st still to go I simply can't lose control. 

The bonus is that I will be attending Christmas parties this year wearing a dress size I thought I would never be, and soon I'll be out of it the other side.

Because you've got to have a dream.